End of Scale
posted on 11 Apr 2008 17:54 by soulitaire
For i don't know how long - my life has always been at extreme.
It didn't use to be when i was younger.
I still recognize one part of my life where i was this loud,
funny and entertaining kid.
And so whenever the teacher wanted a voluntary performer,
everyone would instantly cheer me up to do something.
And everytime, i would go timid and shy,
"Oh no, I'm not prepared for something so sudden!"
Therefore, i actually never did go up on stage by request.
Funny thing was that i always "critically" commented to myself
on those kids on stage,
"They're horrible! I can definitely do better"
Reflecting on my childhood, reality does teach me something.
It tells me that I could do no better than just "talking".
And what much does "talk" contribute if you do not "act"
Up to here, it might not sound exactly concerning to my life's extremeness.
But think about it, how many times did I reject any chances in life? And how many times did I have to regret it after all?"
From then on, I swore to myself I would just go for good chances and also really focus on my life pursuits.
Now when I'm really interested in something, my life is revolving around it.
And that pushes everything I don't care off of my target.
I am this person who does not want to smile when I sing to sad lyrics.
At party, I would just dance my ass off as if I were on drugs.
I usually stand up(literally) and fight back when a teacher (or anyone) is saying something wrong or daunting me.
I spent time and money on hundreds of pages of political reviews
when I had to debate on coup d’état.
I don't really care about watching soccer like most men do
(- so does this turn extreme into "a drama queer" instead? Haha)
Some people will hate on me since I say things that are too direct and straightforward. Some will just cringe at my being too loud.
Some people may think I'm dull and drowsy 'cuz I'm not that cool guy you can generally see in hollywood blockbusters.
I'm not that manly and muscular jock that girls would sneakpeek at and giggle.
I sometimes stay silent at conversations I don't really know or care about.
You see? My life is always at the end of scale; either at the highest or the lowest point.
my life on the edge thus affects me in both the positivity and negativity.
I know how hard it feels when I'm desperately dying craving for something that is so hard to get. Everything is so uptight that it almost sabotages my whole life.
But does that mean mediocrity, on the other hand, just confronts with one-side luck?
HELL NO!!!
Now that it seems almost like I'm blabbering.
And yet I'm not even writing this and trying to persuade someone to act like me.
I've been beating around the bush for so so long.
But what I'm trying to say is that I wanna live a life to its fullest.
I don't wanna be just another 9 to 5 employee in his 50s regretting that he hasn't tried to grasp something he wants the most in life.
I want a life that is noteworthy and is something I can pass on to my children and grandchildren.
And so yeah I'm proud of my life at the end of scale!
It didn't use to be when i was younger.
I still recognize one part of my life where i was this loud,
funny and entertaining kid.
And so whenever the teacher wanted a voluntary performer,
everyone would instantly cheer me up to do something.
And everytime, i would go timid and shy,
"Oh no, I'm not prepared for something so sudden!"
Therefore, i actually never did go up on stage by request.
Funny thing was that i always "critically" commented to myself
on those kids on stage,
"They're horrible! I can definitely do better"
Reflecting on my childhood, reality does teach me something.
It tells me that I could do no better than just "talking".
And what much does "talk" contribute if you do not "act"
Up to here, it might not sound exactly concerning to my life's extremeness.
But think about it, how many times did I reject any chances in life? And how many times did I have to regret it after all?"
From then on, I swore to myself I would just go for good chances and also really focus on my life pursuits.
Now when I'm really interested in something, my life is revolving around it.
And that pushes everything I don't care off of my target.
I am this person who does not want to smile when I sing to sad lyrics.
At party, I would just dance my ass off as if I were on drugs.
I usually stand up(literally) and fight back when a teacher (or anyone) is saying something wrong or daunting me.
I spent time and money on hundreds of pages of political reviews
when I had to debate on coup d’état.
I don't really care about watching soccer like most men do
(- so does this turn extreme into "a drama queer" instead? Haha)
Some people will hate on me since I say things that are too direct and straightforward. Some will just cringe at my being too loud.
Some people may think I'm dull and drowsy 'cuz I'm not that cool guy you can generally see in hollywood blockbusters.
I'm not that manly and muscular jock that girls would sneakpeek at and giggle.
I sometimes stay silent at conversations I don't really know or care about.
You see? My life is always at the end of scale; either at the highest or the lowest point.
my life on the edge thus affects me in both the positivity and negativity.
I know how hard it feels when I'm desperately dying craving for something that is so hard to get. Everything is so uptight that it almost sabotages my whole life.
But does that mean mediocrity, on the other hand, just confronts with one-side luck?
HELL NO!!!
Now that it seems almost like I'm blabbering.
And yet I'm not even writing this and trying to persuade someone to act like me.
I've been beating around the bush for so so long.
But what I'm trying to say is that I wanna live a life to its fullest.
I don't wanna be just another 9 to 5 employee in his 50s regretting that he hasn't tried to grasp something he wants the most in life.
I want a life that is noteworthy and is something I can pass on to my children and grandchildren.
And so yeah I'm proud of my life at the end of scale!
edit @ 11 Apr 2008 19:57:44 by soulitaire